Trip to Port Town

'Peter Piper picked a pack of pickled peppers,
A pack of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked..."
How in the world does this poem go?

Anyhow, Peter Piper and the elder hobbit were in Porttown, NL. This was quite a sight to see, for there were quite a few industrious complexes filled with hordes of goblins. What do you take me for, a coal digger? IJmuiden was the name of the place, and watching the locks open and close was the name of the game. But where were the boats?! They moved out to take a look at the place and saw all from a distance. The canal was spread before them. So, what do you think? Peter Piper spotted a cat on the prowl and pointed it out to the elder hobbit. "Well, bless my soul, a kitty! Psh, psh, psh..." said the elder hobbit. Although the beach is "somewhat marred by chimney stacks and plumes of smoke", the North Sea is a sight to behold.

"What a sight to behold!" said Peter Piper to the elder hobbit. And so it was.

They walked for a distance towards the first lock. "Maybe we can espy the Lock-ness Monster!" said Peter Piper eagerly. Yes, now that would be fun! After a long time or a short time, they came to a gaggle of geese. Öh my, look at all those geese"! said Peter Piper. Öh my, yes", said the elder hobbit. "They are quite interesting creatures indeed. Look how they graze upon the grass and follow each other in a line. Very fascinating, indeed."

After standing memorized, looking at geese, they continued on the way and, after a long time or a short time, they came to the lock. The elder hobbit explained its mechanism:

"The height of the water in the canal is 3.5 meters higher than that in the sea. The gate opens, allowing water to pass freely, and the boat can pass in the lock. Then the gate closes behind and the water level rises to the height of the water level in the canal. Now the boat can pass without trouble into the canal. That is how it happens. But it is Sunday, so there are no boats!"

Or this is how they thought. Walking back along the road to the canal, the elder hobbit motioned for Peter Piper to come along. As soon as they came back near their carriage, they found a ship! And what a ship it was with Energy Progress written in great letters on the hull, and "Golden Energy" written in gold letters. What a sight!

Ït is some sort of a tanker", said the elder hobbit. They are speaking \russian, remarked Peter Piper.

Well, that was all well and good, but that didn't solve their problem as to how they would get back across the lock, for the lock itself served as the road across which cars and mopeds would cross. Lucky enough there were some fishermen who could catch them a herring or two, and they still had the apples. Their was a friendly couple of fellow hobbits watching the spectacle as well as the same time and one of them caught a ride with another hobbit in his carriage. This left the lady hobbit walking with them some yards behind, but no, come to think of it, she stayed right with them the whole way and around they went. For they were in search of two young hobbits, who passed this way, the day before yesterday. 'Wow, she was something else!' But enough about Dutch women. Suffice it to say, she was from Amsterdam, meaning she was probably a prostitute or some such a thing. Peter Piper decided he'd stick to his peppers. And so, off they went, walking around the lock.

"You are on holiday?" asked the prostitute.

"yes," responded Peter Piper. "For the week."

"Ok, I see."

"Have you ever heard of Man of La Mancha", said Peter Piper.

"No," said the prostitute.