Aya Sofia

So Benito was on a mission: to reclaim his stuff and visit that holy place known to all as Aya/ Hagia Sofia. That was all well and good, but Benito had a train to catch, so down the elevator he went once more. Again, he was apprehended by a man pointing towards one of the offices on the first floor, trying to sell him a hotel. Again, his card did not work, but this time when the lady wanted to try his card again, Benito said "No, thank you!" and ran out the door in his sandals. Luckily there was a man walking outside who, though astonished by Benito's wearing sandals in this cold weather, pointed Benito in the right direction towards the metro. Benito had one 'jedon', but he needed another, so he made the necessary purchase and continued on his way. That was all well and good, but he had no idea, so he asked a man who was like "Sprechen-sie deutsche?" Benito was like "ein bission" and continued on his way, finding the correct path which lay through the 'Grand Bazaar'.

Benito stepped off the platform and immediately began inquiring for directions, as he had no idea where he was... He went along on his merry way, paying no attention to the voices calling out to him. Like Odysseus, he tied himself metaphysically to the mast! Finally, he arrived at the tram, inquiring after Sultanehmet, that magical place that would had been his destination oh, so many times before.
They were friendly enough, and soon Benito was on another tram, headed for his destination. Upon arrival, Benito made directly for that hallowed place, known as Hagia Sophia in the ancient world. The most visited place in Istanbul, it was made a museum by Ataturk, or someone like him. This time, as all the tourists that Sunday walked on by the kebab restaurants on the main street, there were no people standing outside the edifice, waiting to befriend some wayward tourists and bring them to the rug store, but rather he encountered some more tourists who lead him in the right direction towards the money machine, as the people as the gate were only accepting 20 lira bills... That was all well and good, but Benito was on a slightly tight schedule, so he skipped the special tour, as others were rejecting it as well, even though he was apparently "legit", but who can you trust to be "legit" in Turkey, anyway?! But anyway, Benito made straight for the entrance and was greeted by some friendly policemen patrolling the grounds, then he found himself following a tour in Chinese/ Japanese. Well, it was all Greek to him!


And so did he thrive, and so did he find himself following along as the crowd 'Ooh-ed and Aah-ed' as the tour guide's words describing the vast high ceiling... soon after viewing Muezzin's Loge, built in the reign of Sultan Murad III, Benito received a phone call from Kalin, wanting to know how everything was working out and giving Benito new directions, which included getting his stuff and going directly to the airport before it got dark! So Benito went on his way, after searching for a special mosaic which he had found on his Wiki-phone, which was directed to him by some other Turkish tourists, but soon lost them after viewing the "Wishing Column" and making a wish (just like opening the door to the church in Bulgaria!). Never trust a Turk! Haha. Well, Benito was on his way, noting the nice mosque washing area, and that was all well and good. Soon he was out in the open air, headed to his hostel.


After a quick stop at Topkapi, he made for the hostel where he had encountered the Jihadist's, or rather, heard them in "the heat of the night"! Coming there, he met the real Ali and paid up to get his stuff, which was a night and a half, as he had checked out later than anticipated, but at least he had his stuff and coming up the stairs, he was anxious as to what he might find up there, but he had already heard that the 'Jihadist's' had already checked out, informing Ali that they had been "chanting" at an early hour of the morning... And that was all well and good, but coming to his floor and opening the door, he found none other than an African-American! Oh, joy. Well, he wasn't exactly legal, but no matter, at least he had found his stuff, and that was all well and good. So, after a brief conversation with the African dude and another short exchange with Ali, Benito was headed off to the airport, ignoring his stuff back at the rug merchant's. Arriving at the airport, Benito breathed a sigh of relief, and he had even made a new friend from Azerbaijan, who helped him carry his stuff, as she had a rolling suitcase. And that was all well and good, for they went and rearranged their stuff, and Benito offered her some chocolate, but she was in a hurry evidently to make her plane to Australia, so off she went and left Benito to sort through his stuff in preparation for his flight back to the US. He had temporarily forgotten about the Australian Open... Oh, well.

Benito had a heck of a time then trying to locate a little meals on wheels and get someway to transport all his stuff around the airport. He made it to the check-in at row B and took a nap. That was all well and good, for it had taken that much effort to make it that far! Then he went in search of a newspaper and some good eatin'! So, he made for the Burger King in the airport and was able to afford some ice cream with the little coinage he had, and also a caffe and that was all well and good, for there happened to be a very attractive lady working in Duty-Free Arrivals who was there as well, and Benito sat down next to her with his coffee. She asked him how old he was and he found out that she was, indeed, an older woman, but that mattered little to Benito... She shared her "fries" and that's not all! She did not speak much English, but knew enough to understand when Benito said that he thought Turkish girls were very beautiful. And that was all well and good for she thanked him and then had to run off to work, so that was fine, and Benito promised himself to find her again, but for now, he just enjoyed the rest of his coffee and thought depp thoughts here in the Burger King at the airport in Istanbul.

Benito's next stop was at the Post Office, where he sent off all of his postcards, half to the States, half to Serbia and Bulgaria back in Eastern Europe. Then, Benito went to check out the mini-mosque-esque space designated for prayer. Another person indicated that he should remove his shoes, so he did and had a very lovely time in that sacred space for all Muslims. Then he went and washed his feet, taking a pair of sandals as yet another, a man of Asian descent, had indicated and cleaning out his nose, Benito did as the Muslims did and washed his feet and his arms and his face, then went out to find a little cart which he used to go and mail his postcards. After that, Benito slept until his flight came up on the screen, and no problems this time: he was all set to take off. Just with a little de-icing of the plane, then they were off. Oh, and about the lady in the Duty-Free shop? Benito never found her, but he knew that she would be waiting for him upon his next arrival in Istanbul.

THE END.

Searching for a Hamam/ Return of the Jihad

The next day it snowed and Benito slept in until 1 PM. Finally getting up at this late hour, he went down to try and make some friends in this hostel restaurant, but it was not to be, for there was poor service awaiting him therein. He had enjoyed the shower, but he just sat in the restaurant, waiting to be waited upon and nothing happened, so he cozy-ed on up to a couple British girls who he figured were also staying at the hostel and, as he gathered, were leaving the next day! They were watching the soccer game between Chelsea and some other British team, perhaps Arsenal, and sipping on some beers, which they had somehow managed to wrangle from the establishment. But Benito did not think too hard, but simply cozy-ed on up to them to watch the game as well and asked, sooooo.... is this an Italian team or something? To which they responded that no, that was not the case, but they were both British teams. Well, that was all Benito got out of them for they were soon out the door at half-time, but Benito did not care, for he was soon out the door as well, as the guitar music played in the background! Haha. Benito knew that he was hearing a fine concert< and so did not bother going out to hear one< as his guidebook suggested, but simply went to find himself a Turkish bath.

But first he went by some shops, including Saffroni, which his guidebook had recognized as a good one, but walk on by Benito did until he came to a bar/cafe called, well Benito can't recall the name, but he liked it nevertheless and it had a Hollywood western feel, kind of like McDonalds, in that McDonalds is a western phenomenon! Well, that was all well and good, but Benito needed some desert, so he ordered up a cheesecake. And that was all well and good, for soon Benito was out the door and back in the snow. He went back to the tram as the waiter had recommended and then entered a tram up to the appointed place. There had been a black man asking directions, and Benito was very happy to see him, but had ignored him at first, not wanting to respond to anyone saying "Hello, my friend!", knowing that by-and-large, these people could not be counted upon to be one's friend! So, Benito ignored the man at first. Then, seeing him to be just a man trying to board the train, he said, "Oh, yeah, I've got the same issue!" You see, he was wanting change for the tram, but little did he know that you could get change from the machine itself, and so he was left to take a cab, while Benito watched closely and figured it out, so was he able to receive a 'jedon'. Then off he went into the night.

Now, it was Saturday night, and Benito was searching for the Turkish bath, as had been recommended to him by numerous and sundry people, including the guidebooks. So off he went into the night to find the 'hamam'. Eventually he did find it, the very one listed in the "1000 places to go before you die" and featured in such films as 'Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom', and so did Benito wonder at the sight, but it was not to be, for Benito had no money! So he went to a cash machine, but his mom convinced him otherwise, so he went to pick up his stuff as people called out to him to try their fried fish and kebab. They seemed nice enough, but Benito knew enough not to trust anyone!! So he went on his way, finding his way back to Sultanehmet and the hotel where he had stayed at first. Yet how would he get there, for who should appear in the near distance but the rug merchants. Yikes! Well, Benito bides his time, talking on the telephone, until they had all disappeared. Then he continued on his merry way, making for the hotel where first he had stayed. Finally he makes it there at that early hour of the night, and they immediately call for his things, which was all well and good, for Benito did not wish to stay there a second night, but made for the youth hostels once again. Now, Benito was planning on going back to the first hostel, but he was stopped by the sign on the door of the first hostel in the row, called, well Benito forgets the name of it, yea has blocked it from his memory, but it was nice enough as he found that indeed there were some Japanese and Koreans staying here in this hostel, so everyone rejoiced! Benito settled down and was shown the room, which looked nice enough but had no windows, and so was it like Nelson Mandala's cell on the island in South Africa, but enough of that, for Benito soon found himself right at home with the books provided to him by the friendly staff, who were watching some 'Turkey's Got Talent' show on the tele and just laughing themselves silly. It was some affair. Then Benito got some time on the computer to write up his travels, but not so long, and it cost money to be on it, so he did not try to write too much, just the essentials. Then he went up to bed. A kitty ran in after him, with no tail! (It had gotten cut off by the owners at an early age.) So that was all well and good, but play this kitty liked to do, and snuggled with Benito that very night. It was very cute and cuddly. But then Benito went to bed, as the glowing light, the heater, turned on and off in the heat of the night. Very soon thereafter the cat had to be let out, but then Benito went back to bed, but not for long.....

In the middle of the night at what must have been 5 AM, Benito was awakened by the "Jihadist's". They had been staying in the room next door and he had heard some whispering to the effect of "Jihad, jihad." They were praying to God to give them the strength for some kind of jihad, which, as Benito gathered was to "shoot someone with a gun." "Shoot him with a gun! Shoot him with a gun!" they chanted, between cries of 'Allah akbah; Allah akbah'. Now, as you can well imagine, Benito was like super-freaked out at this point. Very carefully and quietly, he rolled out of bed. He slipped on his coat and his sandals and grabbed his cell at the same time as the light went dead next door. Very carefully, he opened his door, then ran out down the stairs and into the night, making tracks in his sandals in the snow, and found a valet of the hotel nearby, as well as a cabbie driver. He hailed the cab, and was like "Take me to the airport!" Then the cabbie was like, "Which hostel are you staying in?" To which Benito responded, "Sultan Hostel!" So, together they went there and was greeted by the guy at the desk who was like, "Tell me what happened;; I can help you! Did you go out and buy drinks for a lot of girls in Taksim?? You did, didn't you? It happens to a lot of people like that!" "Sure," responded Benito, "Yeah, that's exactly what happened. Now, can I get the hell out of here?!" Ok, said the man at the desk, but just pay up for the second night and you can leave. So pay up, Benito did, even though he hadn't really stayed in that hostel for a second night, and then he was driving to the airport as the cabbie offered him some crackers and juice. Good service! (forr a measly fifty lira!!) Haha.

Benito was there really early, just like he had been in Portland, OR like last year, but Benito considered it the same and so did he look for an early flight out of there. Well, he would gauge, but there was one headed to Paris where Benito thought he was headed to get a change of flight back to DC, but no, that was full. So then he considered getting on a flight to New York City, which he considered would be close enough! But no, then it was too late to book. So, Benito headed over to Turkish airlines, who immediately asked for his credit card and was like, "Yo, we can fly you to Milan!" Which was where Benito had been wanting to go, and had been the place from which Benito would be flying via KLM in the future, or so he figured! So Benito handed over his card once again, but no go, so Benito went downstairs to extract some money, and as soon as he went down, there was some dude who was like "Hello, my friend, can we provide you with a nice hotel? Your plane isn't until tonight, right?" So Benito found himself in this office with this dude, looking up the times for the airplane. Yes, he said finally, your best bet is with Turkish airlines... they were all in cahoots! Haha. Well, finally Benito made it to the money machine, and was like, cool well I don't have no money, let's see what we can do! So he put his JFCU card in and sure enough, it swallowed the card! Well, now Benito had nothing but his Wachovia bank card to deal with. He bought some flowers. The Turkish lady returned to him some money with which he bought the flowers, which would soon whither on the plane, but no matter, for Benito was in Istanbul, and so did he head back for the city, to find his stuff and make his final pilgrimage in Hagia Sophia!

Wow. What a sight.