Bukkade (Prince's Island)

So Benito woke up that day, finally, after trying to wake up early on a Reconnaisance mission to Sulatanehmet, which got cancelled last minute so that Benito could go on and accomplish Plan A. That was, to travel to the island, as the Turks call it, of Bukkade, or Prince's Island, as the Brits know it. He gathered up his belongings, as it was the last day in Kadikoy, and made his way, after having his Starbucks bag broke. So he gathered up all his perfumes and put them in his coat pockets in preparation for the pilgrimage to come... That was a powerful moment indeed for as the cookies broke, Benito found his strength and decided to march on for the feribot station, dodging Turks as he went and saying "no, thank you" to the pamphlets as he walked on by... Finally he came to some edifice on the docks and found it to be a playhouse and not the feribot station, so on he went on his merry way, making his way through the rain to the actual station. And that was all well and good, but he found that he needed to wait for reinforcements, so wait he did, regarding a statue of a handsome Turk holding forth the fishes and the bloody Turkish flag in the background. But then Benito observed a second sight of seagulls and a Turkish bitch berating her mate as they walked on by the feribot station, as Benito observed, sipping his juice. But then the main attraction came into sight, for Benito had to pick up some more cash... As he did so, he was apprehended by yet another young Turk, selling his wares, or rather some clothing. Soon Benito found himself with yet more paraphenalia on his person, including mits, hat, and ear-muffs. That was all well and good, but then he had an umbrella put in his hand for an extra ten lira, which he promptly left on the boat... oh, well. For now he was just glad to get on the boat to Bukkade, even though it was the "slow feribot".

Disembarking from the vessel, he made for the clock tower, just as the guidebooks had told him, and found himself amidst the school children, who had gotten out for vacation, back home again lickety-split! But as for Benito, he was still on his pilgrimage and found himself befriending cats as he set off on his journey. There were horse-carriages nearby, including a single Turkish gal. Benito wondered if she was coming from the St. George Callisse. Coming around, he stopped to ask a man on his motorbike about the way, and was directed in the proper direction, so off he went as the rain came down and a jogger passed him by as well. Then Benito encountered some Iraqi tourists, who were very pleased to meet Benito and asked where he was from. Benito was a little taken aback at first to say the least, but felt fortunate to meet them as well. Unfortunately, they could not help, being merely tourists, but Benito continued along to ask a worker nearby about the way to the mountain top, and he assured him that it was just around the next bend, so on he went.

The park of Bukkade looked like some tropical forest, but Benito did not stop at the pensione as the guidebooks suggested, but continued on his way. His card to Steve Huber almost falling by the wayside, but the view of the top could be seen and so he continued on his way! He was tempted by the restaurant nearby at the fork in the road, but Benito continued along, for he would have a ferry to catch. This was a cobbled stone road and Benito took pleasure in the path, for it was very nice and the views were quite something, going up, up, up, until coming finally to the monastery on top. There was nobody in the immediate vicinity as Benito looked at the scene around and observed the views of the shores down below. As Benito looked on from the famous closed restaurant, a man also in black went back down the hill and a holy father came out of the building to enter the church as Benito had done to light some candles only a moment before. But pay heed to Benito he did not, but locked the door. That was all well and good, for Benito had to get off the mountain. So go back down he did in his Italian black shoes and found a horse and carriage he then did, agreeing to the fare and munched on an orange as they went back down the hill. And that was all well and good, for Benito had not had anything all day, fasting religiously on his pilgrimage as he did! And that was all well and good. But then he had to pay, and pay he did, handing twenty lira into the grateful man's hand, as Benito put a hand on the horse as it did take aback. And then off Benito went to catch his ferry.

Shop Benito did not, but after hearing about the departure time, went to the nearest quaint caffe and found a way to text his friends back on the Asian side of things. It was quite nice, observing the art presented therein by one who works and paints on the island itself. But Benito bought none, for how few lira did he have left? Only enough to catch the next ferry and on he went!! To the next stop. As he was on the ferry, he decided to sell some of his own wares, so he pulled a bottle of perfume out of his back pocket and offered it to the man sitting in back of him, but was handily refused, the man knowing enough to accept things from a stranger, no less on the boat as tea and coffee were served, as well as candies. Benito thought he could get along well on a boat, but it was not to be, for Benito would be leaving a few days later after an encounter with the Jihadist's, who will be depicted shortly therein! (...)

Coming to shore, Benito waited for a time before finding a nice restaurant where he could warm himself by the heater. soon Idil showed up and there was much rejoicing as they sipped on their tea and coffee respectively. Then they were off, Idil pulling a 100 lira bill from her back pocket to hand to the waiter who took offense, or so it seemed, until they were off, but opened the door nicely, and then they were off to Bagdati street! for to meet with Irem where they met in the bathroom and that was all well and good, for they would be eating then fairly shortly. And eat they did, alotta gelatta. And that was all well and good. For then Benito was off on another Turkish taxi ride, and that, was all well and good, for he was the only one aboard the vehicle and they went across the bridge, dodging traffic and police cars. What a ride!

And it was another adventure of trying to reach his final destination, asking for Topkapi, but then realizing after discussion with another Turkish lady, that he was in the wrong car, then getting on a bus, which took him in a certain direction for awhile, past a great mosque, which Benito thought surely must be Sultanehmet, but was not to be, for Benito had gone too far. In disgust, Benito disembarked and found a cab after questioning the local kebab dealers that took him to Sultanehmet, and they had a great time trying to locate the hostel, going past the Best Western, which looked like the best bet to Benito, but soon was at the hostel called Sultan.

Istanbul: Day 2

Benito had just finished writing his postcards and buying a Starbucks: "Istanbul" mug, walking out the door, when he was accosted by a man outside the coffee shop, putting perfume in his hand, and urging him to pay up! "Here you go", he said, "Just a little something that will surely gladden your day!" Peace! said Benito. But that was not all, no, for as soon as he had bought the perfume and cologne, then another man came up behind the first, and started putting yet more perfume in Benito's hands. Oh, dear. "My friend, where are you from? Please, buy some perfume!" How could Benito refuse his desperate plea?? So, he bought the perfume and put it in the bag along with the other ones. Then, yet a third man came up to Benito and said that money was short, so would he please consider buying some more perfume... so Benito obliged and that was that. He stopped to take out his last bit of money, which the perfume salesman had seen him put back into his wallet (20 Turkish lira), under a tree near the 'Golden Bull' and gave it to him. Then he went into the Vodaphone store nearby to work out his phone issues. The man did not speak English, but instead, after charging up his phone a little, pointed him in the right direction. Benito, however, headed back to his host's home for a bit of R&R.

There he found his host seated with a visitor, who was very Muslim indeed, but also very nice and they got into these conversations about popular celebrities in the USA. Michael Jackson, Ok? Elvis Presley, Ok? Britney Spears, Ok? And they then moved on to American actors and proceeded to go through a list of these as well. It was quite an amusing exercise for Benito and then they went on a beer run, but not before going to find Benito's phone store for to get a charger and visiting the 'callise' in Kadikoy, closed until Sunday, which is also the time when Benito had his encounter with the Jihadist's, but more on that later...

So they went across the very busy street at the 'Golden Bull', going in search of a phone store, going down several alleys before finally arriving there at the store where they named their price and Benito coughed it up. Then they made their way past the 'feribot' launch to another section of town, which included many of the shops and fresh fish markets. They parted ways at the 'callesee' and Benito proceeded to light his candles, like he had done at every other Orthodox church which he had visited in Serbia and Bulgaria. What a splendid affair? He lit two for his parents, Robert & Joyce, and then went on his way, asking a passerby about the 'Moda caddesi'. This was after consulting his guidebook, and deciding to visit the premiere bookshop in Kadikoy called the 'Green House Bookshop'. Unfortunately, as Benito would soon find out, this joint was now closed, rendering his 'Lonely Planet' guide outdate! sigh. Well, Benito would have his meat, and so he went in another bookshop to ask for directions, and stopping as well in a hippy/ Indian store to buy some Jasmine incense which cost 1 lira. Then he finally made it to Moda caddesi where a series of jazzy cars were passing through and there were grocery stores and fruit stands and all manner of stores in this shopping district, but he stopped at a kind of pharmacy for to score some meds. (His pill box had been left back in Europe, and he could not at the time find his stash of pills in his pocket, so this was a slight problem for him...) They looked it up on the computer and pronounced it to be too expensive, which is something which Benito had been afraid of. Oh, well, he would forgo the pills for the time being, and instead, went and bought a little pastry from the corner bakery. Then he got a delicious hotdog and settled into some excellent service before charging up his phone. They had been so gracious to receive what little money Benito had in his pocket, totaling some four and 1/2 lira and asked nicely if he would not enjoy some extra mustard and pickles and asked nicely again if he would not like to come and enjoy his hot dog inside the establishment. So, Benito obliged and the young man, who had also gotten him a coke per request here on El Moda Street, pulled out his chair for him and took his coat. Full service! Benito thought. Benito then pulled out his phone and sent off some last-minute messages before thanking his hosts and heading once again for the streets of Kadikoy!

This time he took a different route, buying some DVDs along the way and hooking up with an antique shop near the mosque where he set aside a camera and some Cyprus tea cups and letter openers and a pen to purchase at a later time. He would never come back.

Then he finally made it back, after observing some pubs and a few other antique shops selling furniture, to the main shopping strip at the 'Golden Bull' where he located the street back home. At his host's apartment, they were carousing and having a good 'ol time. Benito studies some Turkish, then proceeded to have another halting conversation in English with his host and the same Muslim guy again. They then took their beer run, listing names of American cities along the way! That was some kind of wonderful. Then they bought some Turkish beer and chocolate. Yeah!

The next day was Thursday and Benito and friends went out for some good 'ol fashioned fun in Karikoy, just across the way in Taksim. They met at the ferry and that was all well and good. Irem's mom, Idil, paid for the tickets and they were on their way, Murat in company, chatting away in Turkish as Benito observed the sights and sounds on the ferry ride, especially Hagia Sophia on the shoreline, Blue Mosque, and the little lighthouses on either side of the Bosphorus. When they got to the other side, Benito was in wonder at all the fine looking restaurants on the coast and wanted to shop at a street vendor for what looked like excellent donar kebab! Sorrry to say, it was not to be. They took their time crossing the street where there was a police car just minding its own business with a medical team in back. Hahahaa. Then it was on to Taksim square up a long and winding street that kind of reminded Benito of a darker San Francisco. It was quite the scene, selling tons of kebab. And there was this really old tower too, and Idil was like: "Why don't you take a picture?" But Benito had not a functioning camera, unfortunately, but took a picture nevertheless in his mind's eye. Then they waited for Idil's friend and that was that.

Together they walked down the main boulevard, eying chestnuts and bookstores as they went. It was a pleasant affair, walking. So, they continued along, making observations and talking Turkish. Something about something. The last dude selling chestnuts was like: "Yo, buy my chestnuts!" But Benito had to keep up, so he said, "Lata!" And ran along. That was all well and good, but then they turned the corner and soon enough they had nice views of the sea. Benito was leading the way at this point, but was held back by Idil, who said that he needed to take care when crossing the street, for the traffic does not pay attention to the rules! But instead, they did indeed cross the street and walked along until coming finally to a kind of nice place where people were sitting, drinking tea and smoking (everybody smokes in Turkey!), but in any event, it was a pleasant affair and they stopped to take some pictures and also received a call from Irem, who wanted to know how Benito was getting along. "Good", said Benito, "good." And that was that. After a long time or a short time, and after spilling his tea, Benito and friends went upstairs to dine.

It was a very nice view of the 'Golden Horn' from that top place and the sea gulls flew and landed on the roofs as the sounds from distant Imam's echoed across the city. This was Taksim! Idil ordered for Benito and all was well this Thursday evening. They had a good time, just taking their time. The Turks like to take their time. And that was all well and good in Benito's thinking. When the food came, it was quite the smallish portion, but sufficient in Benito's stomach. Together, they took turns at having a smoke, then they all went out together in the end, after mouthing different English words like 'su' and 'table'. Very interesting.

On the street once again, it was dark outside and they made their way up the stairs, back down the main boulevard. This time they went in some of the shops, including a clothing store, then continued along past a rather nice high-school, a callisee, and the Greek embassy. At this point, they went inside to check out the exhibit of Orthodox art in the churches. It was ... interesting. Benito wanted to check about a Greek visa, but that was not necessary for neither did he need one, nor was there any need for Benito did not end up going to Greece, but he had thought about it at the time! Well, that was all well and good, for then they continued along to a coffee shop where Benito encountered some nice Turkish people and some Chinese. How nice... Then there was another man on the street, who was also dangerous in Idil's eyes and that was all well and good, but they soon boarded a special kind of Turkish taxi. Across the Bosphorus they did go and Benito was amazed by the sight, such a long bridge (there are two of them!) all lit up. How the Turkish taxi managed the traffic Benito could not figure, but he soon recognized where they were, being the same place in Kadikoy where Benito had gone only that morning to worship in the mosque and where he had asked for directions back home. Where the cell phone shop was located where Benito had asked about his phone and a nice man had translated, saying that yes, indeed, it would be more than seventy lira to fix it, and Benito said 'No, thank you!' So that was all well and good. Then he had gone home and knew the way. Murat and Benito then stopped briefly at the store to pick up some things: Murat, some cigarettes and Benito, some gum. Then they were back and the streets looked all abandoned, but that was alright for Benito was in Istanbul!

Istanbul

So Benito had made it across the border into Turkey with his items, which he would later leave scattered around the city, but more on that later! For now, Benito was happy to see the sights and sounds and get settled into his hotel room, which the cabbie had recommended to him and taken him there at 3 AM in the morning. He had been nice enough, saying, "World Youth Hostel, problem... Good hotel, no problem." And it was as simple as that. The cabbie drove Benito to a nice hotel with nice views overlooking Aya Sophia. At first, he could not really see much from his hotel window, but then when he went upstairs in the morning, he could see all: the Bosphorus, the little garden in the book, the older mosque from the time of Justinian, and of course, Aya Sophia! What a sight it was, indeed, as he sipped his coffee and waxed lyrical about the sights and the sea gulls. He was glad that he had come to Istanbul and especially glad to be in Sultanehmet. What adventures waited behind the next corner? The world was now at his fingertips; it was his oyster and he, Benito, was the clam. (MMMmmmm... clam chowder. Hopefully Benito would be getting a lot of it, as his sister was headed to college in the northeast. Oh, yeah. Near Boston and York, ME, holla!)

Benito collected himself, took one last longing look at the structure that is Aya Sophia, then departed, asking how to get to Kadikoy... first, he thought to go and take a walk around, so he departed, leaving out the front door, which was really more like a side alley, and of course it had been raining, but Benito had a nice coat which he had obtained in Aachen, along with a backpack from Germany (I know, redundant.), but in any case, these girls were going to lunch in that fabulous restaurant and Benito was headed to see the sights near Sophia, Istanbul that is. So cool. He walked along the sidewalk as the chanting from the nearby mosques rose to a din, and gave Istanbul a certain ambiance this early afternoon here in Sultanehmet! He walked past the police station and then across the street to that hallowed ground. No sooner had he stepped near the entrance and inquired as to where he might enter, then a man stopped him on the street and asked, "Hello, my friend, where are you from? You don't look very American!", he said. "Have you ever heard of Turkish handicrafts?" And so, Benito followed him to the shop, which was back where his hotel had been, and that was that. Benito found himself sipping tea and chatting it up with a Turkish merchant, who seemed alright at the time. But no matter, for Benito was in Istanbul, and thought he could judge a character when he encountered it, and this man seemed decent and respectable, but Benito had had no idea, for no sooner had he sat down, but then rug after rug were placed in front of him for all to see, and it was like a dance and the carpets were spinning and Benito was getting dizzy, nay, hynotized by the very act! It was as though he had been drugged with something in his drink and could not say no, but instead selected a carpet with a red design and the "Tree of Life", which was not a prayer rug, for that rug had no design in the center, as it was explained to Benito by the rug merchant, but had an empty space for the devotee to kneel and praise Allah. But this rug had that special design in the center, and that is why Benito favored that particular rug, for he thought how he might hang it on his wall in Washington, but no rug did Benito receive for his money, for no sooner had Benito signed on the dotted line, but then he was being directed to come to the second floor where he would be escorted yet again into the chef's office to sign the official papers and receive his rug, but no, that was not to be.

The credit card which Benito had on hand did not work, for it had been stopped by his bank with fraud protection on it, and so was Benito saved, or so it seemed for the moment. For no sooner had the patrone walked in, but then the environment changed and with gold ring on his finger and cigar in hand, he made Benito call his bank and authorize the transaction to take place between the two parties. And this is how the Turkish delight went down Benito's throat along with the warm apple sweet tea, which was customary in the Turkish custom, but made Benito feel as though he must sign; he must do this. Well, what could he do? He answered some questions in a mock trial of his true identity, confirming, for instance, that yes, his sister owned a house in Washington? Well, that much is true, or so it seemed. The other choices had been silly, like Indiana for instance, but enough of that! For Benito was under certain circumstances and this was how the cookie crumbled. But what can we say of that hour? It was indeed a tense moment, for they were hoping to extract funds from Benito's account and Benito was feeling a tad bit uncomfortable, but in any event, he did sign and they had wrapped the rug up for him as he had seen, and now what that transaction indicated to the boss was that they should sell Benito another rug! Haha. Well, we can all laugh about it now, but then it was something else indeed.

So, as Benito was an important customer, they escorted him to have his lunch nearby and promised a special historical presentation of something quite interesting indeed. So he went into that place, and Benito thought, "What a lovely introduction to Turkish culture!" As the lady sat down next to them and watched as they ate their lunch in the third floor of a building on the same street, only a block away. A man with a mustache picked up the conversation where they had left off, and informed Benito about the history of the Turkish people, saying that yes, indeed, the picture on the wall had depicted Mehmet and that glorious invasion of Constantinople and that when the crescent moon and a star shown brightly in the sky and was reflected in the waters that ran dark red with blood, that this is how the Turkish flag came to be! And that was some history indeed. For now, Benito was content to sip on his soup and enjoy the company, even though he did feel a little bit odd about the whole situation in which he found himself now at that time. But no matter, it was snowing and this was how he was experiencing it. There was spaghetti on hand as well, but Benito did not touch it, for he was afraid it might be contaminated but instead said, "Mangia, mangia!" which is an Italian expression which the rug merchant could not understand, but enjoyed it nonetheless, and so they departed back to the rug store for to drink some more tea and talk about rugs.

The man with the mustache introduced Benito at that time to another part of the store, also upstairs, where they had many fine rugs for sale. Again, the same huff and fuss surrounding the rugs and their histories. Apparently, the Turkish peoples were spread throughout the world, including Uzbekistan, Kazakhstan, and many other regions, and so they were like the gypsies in certain ways, and this whole experience with the rug merchants confirmed that, as well. But now Benito had been with these merchants for quite some time and he was beginning to wonder how he was going to meet his friends in Kadikoy>?! But they continued their discussions of the rugs, and how they would be able to accomplish a sale, but indeed, the man said that he was not trying to sell Benito any rugs, just trying to gauge a sense of taste. Well, Benito thought, I could write a play or short story on this whole affair! And so he will, and so he will, but for now Benito was beginning to worry himself over the whole affair with the rugs. "Where do you have to be?" they inquired. "You are on vacation!" And so Benito was, or so he thought.

After they had selected two of the 'champion rugs', he was escorted back into the patrone's office, where he had been playing a game of backgammon on the computer and was also offered cigarettes, which is quite the sign that you are about to get ripped off, the same in Belgrade, the same in Sofia, and that was how the Turkish muffins began to crumble and get all messy on the floor. So Benito found himself back in the office, discussing now the sale of the 200 k dollar rug! Indeed, the historical museum could not get a figure less than that should it go to sale in the States, and indeed they did go to Seattle to do some business and the man with the mustache had supposedly travelled far and wide like any good nomadic Turk! But now, it came for Benito to decided, for he was given "an offer which he could not refuse", for he was being treated as a 'brother'. "We see you as a brother!" said the patrone. " You don't know how mad I can be!" To offer you a 200 k dollar rug for only a two thousand dollar downpayment. A rug is an investment, they assured him, as Benito smoked, and Benito agreed that it would be an investment in his future to buy this very expensive rug, even as the rug for 5 million turkish lira was hanging on the wall. Did Benito belive their stories? Yes and no, for Benito had not had this experience before and had not read about it in the guidebooks, at least as far as he could recall, and so did they call him a 'funny asshole'...

"Come along now," said the patrone, "What can you offer?" Benito did not accept cigarettes at this time. " perhaps he does it out of respect?" said the man with mustache, and so he had been correct, but Benito was not about to let them get the better of him, so he gave the boss his credit card once again in the hope that yes, he could indeed get this great offer and bring the 'silk-on-silk' rug back to the States. "I was hoping you would pull your super secret card out of your back pocket!" said the patrone. I am being dead serious, he said. And so he was, and so was Benito starting to feel uncomfortable, as though this would not be a game, even after he had gone to the bathroom to relieve himself, and even after talking to Irem on the phone, he could not seem to escape. They told him that he could indeed go into the next room to make a phone call and call his 'agents' or 'sponsor' or whatever. But that was not to be, for Benito could not reach his parents on the other line, so he called Kalin, who did not quite understand the situation which Benito had gotten himself into at that point but instead assured him that he could not indeed afford a rug, and so he should get the hell out of there and meet up with his friends in Istanbul, which is what Benito had thought himself was the best decision, that he could not afford this rug, yet was still thinking about how he might obtain it, for indeed when it was shown to him in the dark room under the lights like a stain-glass window, he had been impressed. " You will fall in love with this rug", said the man with the mustache. And so had Benito begun already to fall under their spell, the spell of the Turkish rug merchant!!

At that point, Benito was already considering the ways in which he might escape, whether or not he could indeed slip down behind the rugs like 007 and escape to the bottom level where people were coming in and out of the store. "Your sale, we believe, will be good luck towards the rest of the day and will encourage more sales in Allah's sight!" had said the first rug merchant. "You like girls or boys?" had said the man with the mustache. "I thought that was illegal," had responded Benito. They had all just laughed. Benito had bowed at the offer of the 200 k dollar rug and confirmed that it was indeed an offer which he could not refuse. So that was that. Then, after receiving a call from Irem, Benito got the hell out of there! "Ok, piss off!" said the patrone.

Benito rushed back to his hotel and asked for his stuff, but the dude at the desk was playing some game on the computer and did not readily respond, so after a time, Benito was like the hell with this! And went out into the night, another employee wishing him a pleasant evening. He went in search of the tram and asked some fellows across the street where exactly that might be... they directed him in the correct direction and off he went to seek his fortune in stranger climbs. It was now dark and snowing out. Benito wandered past some more mosques, buying some cola along the way, and made his way onto the tram, after buying some postcards and a tramway token, called 'jedon'. So did Benito find his way, past Karikoy to Serkeci station where he could take the 'feribot'. That was all well and good, but where to go from there? He could make out the feribot station from the train and made for it, after considering a map for some time, not bothering to ask the lady at the window, but instead hurrying along, for he had a ferry to catch, which indeed he did catch in the knick of time, leaving from that place, after being directed yet again by a man who asked if Benito had any money. "Yes!" Benito had responded and rushed off in the appointed direction to catch the ferry.

It was a pleasant ride across the Bosphorus in any case by night, and the lights on the other side shown brightly as the snow came down all around. There were lots of people to say the least, and as Benito got off there were shouts rising up from people selling umbrellas which seemed to go in unison, or rather, in harmony with the chanting from the mosque on the shore. Then Benito waited for a time there on the docks before Irem's mom showed up to direct him to his host. What a fabulous time he would have! At first, and indeed, upon arriving at his host's, Benito seemed sad, for it did not possess the pleasant views of Aya Sofia like back at the 'AND Hotel', but at least he had his own bed on this, the Asian side of Istanbul. They drank some coffee; Benito had a shower, as they told him to relax, even though he had had no supper, and then went to bed.

The next morning, Benito went in search of a cafe. He went up toward the 'Golden Bull', then took another street up a shoppping district, coming to Starbucks and another cafe upstairs called "Nostradamus". Benito elected for the familiar setting of Starbucks and proceeded to buy a 'Cafe Mocha', which he knew his sister enjoyed back in the States. "Where are you from?" This was an innocent question, but you remember that Benito had just been dealing with the rug merchants only the day before, so he had to be cautious. He took his coffee up the stairs and went on the porch outside. "Brrrrr", said Benito. But it was nice enough, and his jotted down some postcards on the Turkish flag postcard. There were a couple of girls sitting nearby, and after a time, Benito decided to try out some of his Turkish on them. "Do you know where I can find a leather store?" he asked. They just laughed and ran out. Hmmmm... Well, Benito would find a Turkish girl... somewhere.... well, not until the airport and he was flying home, but that's another story. Now, as for Kadikoy, it was nice enough with shops and fish markets selling fresh fish and all assortment of cell phone stores where Benito bought another charger, as his other one was back with the rug merchants. Then he continued along to find a man selling perfume.

Ah, well, a man again asking where Benito is from...

Coming to Turkey ( The Middle_East... )

So the ride out of Sofia, Bulgaria was another example of Benito getting his ass handed to him. Well, he boarded the bus and that was all well and good. The Bulgarians like to cram as many people on a bus as possible, but that's another story! In any case, Benito was going along, just minding his own biz, when all of a sudden who should appear but Benito's arch-nemesis, Gospel. Or rather it was a figment of his imagination! But in any case, that was back at the monastery. Now Benito was at the train station, waiting for his freight train. But in any case, that was how it happened. So they did a little dance and Benito figured out that he needed to take a bus at 5 o'clock, but not right away for he still had many demons to face before leaving that country. What. You have never been to the monastery at the foot of the mountain before?? Well. That is all well and good. Very good luck to you and yours! So Benito continued along. He was very glad to be out of the picture at that moment. He was taken to that hallowed place, the most important contribution by Bulgaria to medieval art... Very well. So he saw this sacred place and that was all well and good. He even had a tour of it, and what a tour it was, encompassing everything in that little old church. So what can we say. It was worth it. But to go across town by cab... hmmmm. Questionable: well, at least Benito was alright. The cabby offered Benito some smokes which was a sign that he was getting ripped off in the process. Oh, well. That was all well and good. But what Benito couldn't figure out was how in the world he would find the right bus! Well, the cabby negotiated for Benito to find the right one, then escorted him to the bus stop where he facilitated in the transferral of funds from one to another into Turkish lira. Well, that was all well and good. So, what can we say therefore. Not too much, unfortunately. Very well. More on that later.

Benito found his way onto the right bus in the end, which was the important thing. Well, what can be said about that? For they travelled all day and all night to finally reach Istanbul. And that was all well and good. But what Benito really wanted to know was how to work his ancient camera. Ok, he thought, that is good. For Benito found a friend in this janissary who was born in Bulgaria, but now living in Turkey. And that is how the Turkish cookie crumbles! So much for the exteriors... This jane assısted Benito in getting across the border most especially and that was all well and good. Well, from Benito's standpoint, he had gotten away with a lot. For he had smuggled Cuban cigars across the border. Haha. Well. that's not all. He also had some rakkia which another person had gotten stopped for. He had felt trapped for he had had no time to hide his contraband very effectively. So they were coming in from either side, and that was something. Then they pounced and asked, 'Is this your stuff?' To which Benito replied, 'Well. yes!' Then they left, apparently Benito did not look suspicious by any stretch of the imagination. It had been a comfortable ride and then the lady opened the door to the bus station and said: 'Welcome to Turkey!' and that was that.

Adventures in the Bulgarian Mountains

It came upon a midnight clear that they all decided to make for the mountains and head into the mysterious land called Vershawhadun, for so they thought, but that was not the case, for actually it was the land held overseas that was nye to be the one to see. How could they tell; how could they make it out? But what strange spells had they cast over all the land. Benito knew not, but that he had to find a way out. A way out of this place. Could it be through Paris or Istanbul, he knew not. What was clear at any rate was that Benito was suffering from sleep poisoning, but that's another story. At the moment, he was just glad to be alive, although he really needed some coffee right about now (the funk-so brotha).

Now was the appointed time to go into that dark realm. For the night air was quickly smattering and not all was well in the neighborhood? But what could they do. They had to pitch camp somewhere. But where? There were no places to plant their stakes, just mole hills in the distance and tree all around. That was the place of no return. The place of Notchylvania! That hallowed land where none dost stir but the mice and even then but cruelly. So come one, come all and gather round the gypsy's fire for to hear more stories of that cruel, dark land that some have heard tell from their grandfather's grandfather before them, and yet others know these tales as past down through song. The bard's tale, as it is known in these days and for which part I do take up my part, and for which part, I would not go but subtly. Subtly, yea subtly into that good night. Rage! But soft, who goes there?

And so they all went together, and so they all went. For to find a nitch in the grave, for to find that cantakerous place that some call 'Neverland', and others call "Vitosha". yea, even to that place where few dare go after sundown... but the brave, the few, the proud. Yes, even Shaun the Proud, the prideful knight of the duke's court, Duke di Milan. And Sir Tom the Cruel, of course, Sir Tom. But also Bruce the Brave, and so the three of them went together to the mountain to see what they could see. Bruce started up singing a song, but was put down harshly by Tom, who thought that the wind was more in keeping with this song. This hallowed ground, this nocturnal fire that will soon see us all in hiding, yea verily. And so they went all together, for together they all were going, up the mountain side, for to see what they could see, for they were going for that very reason: to see what they could see. And so they went; and so they went. And they stopped by the river, or creek rather, for there were bridges whereat one may cross across and that was very nice, very nice indeed. A gazebo there was and a bridge from the Turkish times. Ooh, how wonderful? That place was so wonderful, and Bruce sat down to record the place in epic verse. But Tom, Sir tom, Sir Tom the Cruel he was, bade Bruce gird up his loins and follow suit. How can one do what one canst when one canst not see? But enough! For the day grows on apace and the day will have its mare. Or not so. But never enough, but what time suits it always to be what one cannot see, but what one can feel with one's hands. For that is how Bruce tends to feel when he cannot go a'wandering. He feels lost without his medication, but luckily enough for him, he found a holy well. no, not Holywell, but yea verily, a well that is holy. And so with that well was all made well, for he could drink and so be nourished thereby. And this was all well and good, yea well and good.

Bruce wanted to leave his coat behind for it was dragging him down, but Sir Tom would have none of it and urged him to stuff it in his rucksack, and thereby they would be able to flourish. For the day was growing on apace, and they had not yet reached the wood. The wood, where heart doth hop and where they were all set to go.. But no, they did not go, but hopped over the land, very prettily and Shaun was with them, and so he hopped along beside the others. But no, not so proudly this time, but with an elegant gait, so that all could see that he was not really so proud after all, but rather certainly of a fine disposition. And so to make amends, and so to make amends. Now how did they go? They went by hopping. And how did they hop? They hopped most serendipidously, and so there's an end. Then they reached the fields. Yea, this open ground whereat one could look back and see the whole spread and outlay of the land from this here mountain side. And all praised the very sight. But no less distance away from them could be seen the Turkish hoard, making its way across the valley. yea, there they are! The Turks! Those Ottoman slaves! What have they with them but no less than three armies, and all conveyed most splendidly across the river as a giant wave upon wave. Look at those banners flying high and those spear points like a forest of them, wow! How can one think to do battle with such a force?! No one could stand the impact, no less now, no less here at this mountain pass. But stay, for perhaps the Thracians will arrive and will commit to more troops in this epic struggle. Yea, verily, that is our only hope, thought Tom, but more to come from his stream of consciousness writing. more to come, verily!

What could he say? What could he do? He had no choice but to follow. And so Bruce the Brave did what any sensible man in his position would do. He took up his father's stick. And that was all well and good. For the Turks were fast approaching and Tom motioned for them to hurry up into the snow-capped hills and so grow fearsome in the effort. And that was all well and good, for they were fast approaching across the mountain's side, the whole army, fit as steel and mean, or that is how it looked from a distance. They carried an air of auspicious degree and could not help but portray themselves as such, such a solemn solemnity that was transfixed by the crescent moon high above and their moon was its moon and its moon was their moon, and the two in configuration were all one, but not with which it came. For they rode on the wind, and crossed themselves in such manner as one would think they were Christian, but no, they were simply brandishing their swords. and so they were, and so they were. But what can one say about this turn of affairs. What can one say about these ranks upon ranks accept that they were an invincible force, for which not one or two or three could do much about, save what they had stored up for themselves in days past. And so that was the way the cookie crumbled here in the Bulgarian mountains. What can one say but that they were all sick at heart, for not one of them had anything to eat, save for some coarse food. And they were all certainly to be made into mince-meat at the first encounter with the Ottomans. So they bade their time and made the best of it, eating the yellow snow.

Bruce had a rough time of it as he was not used to hiking in these mountains, so Tom and Shaun went on ahead, breaking the track for Bruce to follow and all were satisfied by this transaction. Who could blame them? Who could say what was right and what was wrong? The Turks knew neither right from wrong, so who is to say? But no, that was not how it turned out, for the Sultan is merciful and allows those to live who deserve such care. And that is how it went, without another word. And that is how it went. For soon Bruce the Brave found himself at a Monastery in the mountains, he had been running for quite some time, slipping in the snow, but now he found there to be a maid sitting by the water and she had dark hair and dark eyes. She did not speak, but simply gestured toward the edifice, with a nod and a slight smile. She observed, but nothing more. Then she got up, and left that place. Bruce, on the other hand, went nimbly through the gate and got to his destination, which was the Monastery at Rila.



Bruce entered those gates, that hallowed ground, and as he did so, he felt a rush as though many spirits had just passed through his body and he shuttered in awe and ecstasy. Such is the same when one is experiencing the 'Pranayama' exercises, as Tom has demonstrated many times. Such was the case here. And there were many sights to behold. Bruce felt that he needed to use the restroom, so he found his way there after drinking from the holy waters (which somebody pee'd in, as we all know! Haha.), and then proceeded to enter the sacred space, covered with a kind of religious iconography or "Jesus tattoo". There he lit five candles: two for his parents, two for his hosts, Tom and Shaun, and one for his host yet to come! Would the day soon come. But now he was in that place, that dark space where few have been. And he felt a rush, then a flush, and finally a brush, as he went to take a pee once more, but not before the priest had given him his blessing, although he spoke only Bulgarian. Thusly, there was nothing to fear but fear itself and Bruce continued to reception where he found a nice middle-aged priest who conducted him to follow the sacred ceremony into admission to that hallowed ground. And so he spent the night very peacefully, going to bed at sundown, and staying there until all was said and done, then he made his way to the water source, or rather one of the fountains, for the Sultan had passed an ordinance that the Rila Monastery should be protected. And so that is how the Bulgarian cookie crumbled! And that is how all was said and done. For the priest bade Bruce drink from the magic fountain, and he received all strength and resourcefulness in this way, for it was indeed holy water, rich in nutrients. And that was good. So he bade the priest a fond farewell and went to bed, but not before inspecting the bell tower which was the only original part since the burning of that place by the Ottomans. for they had been tolerant, yet had burned it to the ground. It was something of an idiomatic expression, but nonetheless they were satisfied with the ordinance from on high, that is to say, the Sultan's official decree that Rila Monastery be a place of worship for all bulgars.

And so did that time of St. Ioan pass into legend, for he himself had lived as a hermit in that place for some time, surviving on PUmpkin Seeds that he found in the forest, growing naturally. And he knew by instinct which were poisonous and which were good to eat. And so he did what was asked of him and did not apologize, but kept his place among the saints well preserved and did not ask questions, but had a little holy water and his seeds, and on this did he survive and on this he thrived.

So Bruce went that morning to meditate by the riverside and watched the creek as it flowed under that large fir tree. It was quite the spot and people passed by, but Bruce paid them little heed, for he was one brave soul. And that was how the bulgar cookie crumbled, and that is how the Slavs came into that land. So that was how it went. And they passed all his time there, buying an icon as well as some other things, and that was all well and good. And there he was given a new name, which shall be related in all differing accounts, but none more so than that of the other day, which shall be related in time passing, but not until that day of rapture when all the saints together in God's kingdom shall inherit the earth and a plague shall cover the land and Pharaoh will sing of Egypt's land and all shall be well, and all shall be well.

Sofia

The adventure continued as Benito made his way across the border into Bulgaria....

It had been a propitious day, well worthy of note, for on this day, Benito not only went from Loznica to Belgrade, but also from Belgrade to Sofia, Bulgaria. It started out early enough with a 6 AM wake-up call (if Benito can get up at 6 AM on days like this, why can't he seem to do the same here in Sofia? it surely is a mystery, but in any case, the adventure continues...) from Ljubitsa to prepare himself for the journey. No time for breakfast, or at least, it was breakfast standing up, with a few sips of coffee or so, then it was time to depart the premisese in search of fertile ground. Where the heck is Namania? In Narnia, most likely. Oh, well, there he is, OK, let's get this show on the road! "Idemo!" So onward they went without pause until they got to the bus stop in Loznica. This came as a surprise to Benito, for he had thought that they were somehow going all the way to Belgrade by car. But no, rush, rush to buy a ticket and this was handed to Benito by his friend Ljubica, then he was off on another freight train, so to speak. And so he was, and so he went back to Belgrade.

When he left the bus in the central station, no less than three people asked Benito if he needed a cab to the airport. Propitious? I think not. Portentious? Probably. Outrageous? Probably not. Could it be a sign that Benito should think about going home?? nah. OK, well the next person that should come along to apprehend Benito and his numerous baggage was what you might call a ROM. Supposedly, these guys are everywhere, and he seemed friendly enough, taking all of Benito's bags for him. No doubt, he would have to be paid, but that could wait. For now, he was assisting Benito and that was no mistake. Benito just took this all in as another part of his mission, which was to reach Sofia, Bulgaria. "Bulgarski?" the man asked several times. and another taxi driver, who was probably in on the deal, spoke English and directed him in another direction. Then the second man, another ROM, showed up and started speaking Serbian to his compatriot. This was a comedy of errors, for Benito had bought another ticket without needing to and was headed in the wrong direction, until the second ROM showed up and directed them in a different direction. "Yes, Mr. Cabby-Man," it is the other way, for he want go Sofia! So that was how the Serbian cookie began to crumble. Then they took him to this cafe, and he received a call from Sajna who was like, "Where the f$** are you?" And Benito was like, "I dunno, some cafe". And Sagna was like, "Come outside so I can see you!" So Benito was like "Ok". So out he went with one of the dudes and paid him off along the way, speaking in Serbian to Sagna who was starting to have a panic attack. But no matter, for Benito was in Serbia. The dude told Benito that Sagna would be coming to the cafe and offered him a cigarette which Benito took readily, thinking that this was the most expensive cigarette he would ever have. When they got back to the cafe, the dude motioned to the other dude to follow him and then, they were gone. Benito was left to read his 'Dracula' book and contemplate the cigarette, which smoked like incense over his table as others looked on. Benito received another call from Sagna, who still couldn't find the place, so Benito came out and put another lady on the phone to speak with her, and finally they found each other. And Sagna was like, "I'm gonna kill you!" But they had found each other finally at the bus stop, so they went back to the dingy cafe and talked for about half-hour until Sagna had to leave. They hugged goodbye, and Sagna went on her way. Benito was then apprehended by several 'Gypsy' children wanting a free hand-out, and Benito gave it them, buying one of their little icons for no less than 600 dinars (!). That was something indeed, but then they came back for me. Luckily, the older gypsies seating next to Benito were like, "Get the hell outta here!" And Benito was like "Thank you very much". But then they were like "Eh, children." And Benito was like "yeah, kids". Then Benito was about to leave when the soldier sitting nearby was like " You need some help with your baggages?" And Benito was like "Sure!" and so he sat down next the Serbian soldier and had a round on him. It was like he had already paid six hundred dinars for one beer, but in any case, he was glad for it. They had a nice chat, talking about how the Serbs never get out much, but in any case, he had relatives in north Germany which he had never visited. His name was Ivan and he had to leave the same time as Benito, so off they went but Benito had need to use the bathroom facilities. Unfortunately, this was not possible right away. But in any case, it happened that Benito had learned a few words in Serbian, at least enough to ask where the bathroom was. Of course, there was no bathroom on the bus, so Benito asked a few times and finally, after a discussion with a Texan (fellow American) on the bus who was sitting in the second row and suggested that Benito shrug and point to his watch, saying that usually does the trick, but then Benito finally got the phrase right saying, "Gde je toiletta" and the next thing he knew, the bus was stopping for a pit break. Fantastic!

They switched up the buses in Nis and from there, Benito and the Texan took a mini-bus, which departed soon after they had shown their passports. The funny thing was, as they passed some quaint little towns near the eastern Serbian border, the number of times they would have to show their passports on the Bulgarian border. First, there was the Serbian border, then the Bulgarian, and finally the check point. By the time they were done, a Serb had been yelled at by both the border patrol and the bus driver, for he had not had the proper VISA or something. Us Americanski's were let off the hook no problem. It had been an eventful ride, going through the mountain passes with multiple policemen on board, no doubt patrolling the towns near the border. In fact, Benito felt safer with their presence on board.

Finally arriving in Sofia, Benito did a double-take and was like "this is it?" And so it was. Sofia, Bulgaria. He had just written a Facebook update before his phone said "Welcome to Bulgaria!" and then went dead. Well, all's fair in love and war, and none of the above were in question now, so Benito made his way to the point where the people wait for the buses (accidentally forgetting his little suitcase on board. Oh, well, so much for playing any music!) No worries, he would buy some more later ( or so he thought...), but now he needed some way to make contact with his hosts in Sofia, so he borrowed this dude's phone, who was either Bulgarian or Turkish, benito couldn't really tell, but he was on his way to Turkey at the moment. The Texan dude was like "Why don't you borrow a phone from the conductor dude?" and the man was like, "Sofia?" And it took benito a few "Om's" before he came up with the correct response: "Yes!" So he got to use the man's cell phone and the man even spoke in Bulgarian to Kalin & Elena so that they knew where to pick him up. It had been very kind of him. So that was that. And soon enough, Kalin arrived, but not before the Texan's beautiful friend from bulgaria had arrived and given him a proper greeting. The man and Benito just sort of looked at each other's shoes at that point, not knowing what to say after a discussion including how much snow Sofia had gotten recently and which city was best compared to Sofia: between Belgrade, Bucharest, and Istanbul. Sofia was judged to be a fairly nice city overall. And benito appreciated the imput, but was very glad to see Kalin indeed when he got to the bus stop. So that was how the Bulgarian cookie crumbled.

The stopped briefly at a gas station to fill up and then Kalin was pointing out the mountain which Benito couldn't really make out in the dark, but in the morning it greeted him serenely and he received quite a sight of it, away up high in the distance, but very close by. They would climb it on Friday, but for now, Benito was content to look up at it, like a distant Mt. Fuji (another mountain on Benito's list!) or Kilimanjaroo, and he received great inspiration, even though Kalin thinks his cursive script looks like Chinese! haha. Well, that was that and he had a good night's rest on the, you guessed it, leather sofa! Haha. Well, they certainly had the nicest shower Benito had ever seen, so with these plush accomodations, Benito was all set to have the time of his life! They went into the city on Thursday, after having gone running and yoga on Wednesday. Kalin's yoga studio was very close by and he was treated to a special practice session with the "Non-stop Yoga" technique, which involved about one hour of breathing exercises before going on to the different positions. No matter, Benito would master the technique, if it took him all night. The most eventful part of the evening came when Kalin helped Benito to do the head-stand for the very first time. Miraculous! Benito definitely felt transformed after completing that yoga position. He had to kill some time before it got started, which he did by chanting "Shanti, shanti, shanti" and some other Vedic mantra's. It was quite something, and then they went on to do some similar chants in the class. but first, Elena had to clean. Benito walked around the studio three times before going to change himself. It was quite the spiritual experience complete with the different mantra's on the wall, different symbols for them, that is. And Benito did not take any pictures, lest he disturb the spirits at rest in that place on the second floor of this building in 'Studenskigrad'.

The following day, they went downtown with Kalin and Benito meeting up with Elena at the designated meeting place, while first snapping a pic of the National Library with a statue of Cyril & Methodius, the inventors of the Cyrillic alphabet. Then they all went together to the cathedral to pay homage to the gods of Bulgaria, lighting some candles, being careful that they were for the living and not the dead! And then went to pay respects to the icons near the front, Benito snapping pictures of the many lions, etc. And that was all well and good. They had wanted Benito's pocket change at the front of the church, but Benito knew he couldn't help out every homeless person that came across his path, so he said "No, thank you" to them. Then, Benito went on his way, stopping to take a look at some icons. These were very nice and Benito had his pick of the lot, but buy none he did for he had no 'leva' on hand, so instead they went to catch a glimpse of the Parliament Building and various other sights, such as the Natural History Museum, the Russian Orthodox Church, the National Theater, which Benito would visit later on, as well as the President's Building. It was all quite nice and Benito had his fill. They walked down the main street full of shops, stopping nowhere. He even saw a 'Mr. Pizzza', thinking oh, maybe I could work there! But he did not speak bulgarian, so... he'd probably be assigned to washing dishes. But, no matter, for Benito was in Sofia and here, time is money. Or is the NYC? In any event, they came to the Pleasure Palace, but did not go inside. Boy, that sure sounds like a Whorehouse in Thailand, but c'mon, there's so much more to see, for Benito would have another trip into the city on Saturday, and then another following on Monday, in which he would encounter many good looking gals, including one who even gave Benito the time of day to tell him which bus to catch. The 280 bus. but that's another story.

Happy New Year!

Loznica:

Yo. The day was appointed when Benito would leave on a freight train. And that was all well and good. Ivana would accompany him on that day and it would be a splendid affair, for he was headed to see Ljubitsa in her "mountain home". Benito woke up on the appointed day and it wasn't raining, but it was certainly a cloudy one, and that was all well and good, for this was the day that Benito would be leaving on a freight train. He solemnly packed his stuff and bid adieu to his Serbian "sisters". And that was all well and good. Ivana came back just in time to help Benito with his packing and to give a last final tutorial to her student at the apartment. It was quite a splendid affair, eating cake again for another day in a row. The lesson progressed and they ate some more cake and coffee and that was all well and good. There was a conversation in English between the Serbian student, Ivana, and Benito which ended nicely enough. Then was time for discussion about the bed, which somehow had broken. One way or another, Benito was paying up, so pay up he did, even though a new piece of furniture might have been nice. He left virtually all of his American money, save for the $20 bill in the back of his German dictionary, to the "fund" on the dresser. No matter, Benito was soon extracting more funds from the nearby ATM as the cabby waited nearby. Ivana was also there and made sure to retrieve Benito's leather jacket which he had left behind, then they were off. The traffic was unreal!! Bentio just blew his nose, finding the stash of tissues in his jacket. That was all well and good, but what he really needed at the moment was a Big-Mac. Haha. There were plenty of those in Belgrade, he knew. But no matter for the day had come for him to depart the premises of Belgrade and head to the mountains. Arriving at the bus stop, the cabbie said he was worried on Benito's behalf, but no matter, for they had gotten there in fairly good order and there were still people boarding the bus. Benito rushed to make it on in time, Ivana leading the way until they got to the gate where she ushered Benito through, then told him to follow her to the appointed bus and handed him his jackets at which point he was paying up again to store his stuff underneath the bus, but no matter, at least he had the right bus! They all looked at Benito as if he didn't have his head completely screwed on right. but no matter, he had found the right bus! Soon, they were off, and Benito was astounded that there was no public toilet on the bus. Oh, my! Oh, well.

Benito had been planning to read on the way, but he really needed to use the toilet, so he just bit and held it, watching as they crossed several bridges and went through several small little towns, wondering which woud be the right one? Loznica. Just over the next horizon. He considered striking up a conversation with the ladies sitting across from him, but they were lost under their IPods, so contact seemed unlikely. But no matter, at least he was on the right bus. He turned to have a look at the kids sitting in back. They were no doubt enjoying themselves. Another fellow was snoozing behind the ladies sitting next to Benito. And the man in front of them was reading a magazine with pictures of Ana Ivanovic: so hot! Well, at least it wasn't a Playboy mag! There were a lot of those being sold in Belgrade as well. But Benito had paid no heed, nor any money. Now he was headed far away from Belgrade, but soon to return. That much was certain. Where they were going exactly at that moment was a mystery to Benito at the moment but no matter, for at least he was on the right bus. He considered asking the bus driver to stop so that he could relieve himself, but he figured he could hold it for a maximum of two hours. Well, two hours came and went, and still they had not yet arrived in Loznica. He thought he might have seen a sign for it, as many people, one by one, were disembarking from the bus and going to their respective destinations. But not Benito. He figured that he would stay on until the bitter end. Now if only his bladder could go the distance! Two hours came and went and still no end in sight. Benito considered his options: he could pee into a cup, ask the bus driver to stop so he could relieve himself, or just hold on for a few more minutes, however long that was! But no matter, at least he was on the right bus. And sure enough the sign came for Loznica proper and Benito thought he could hold on a little longer. He switched seats in that moment and made eye motions as if to indicate to the bus driver that he was indeed in need. Finally, they arrived and the next thing he knew, Ljubica was on the bus with him, helping him to get his things.

The adventure did not end there, however, for Benito still needed to use the bathroom. So they headed into the nearest facility, which was the bus station where they found a bunch of little bars. They followed the signs to the bottom of the stairs, but the WC was all locked up. So much for that idea! Well, they woud contend with the odds. Luckily enough, Ljubica spotted one of her good friends (Milosh!) who was in turn a friend of the bartendress in one of the mini-bars. There was no light and the toilet was situated in such a position that Benito had to pee from the side of the pot. No matter, he had night-vision and besides, was used to it, for he had had to use the sink to wash his hands in New Belgrade in the apartment and because there was water on the floor, he had had to lean in from the side sort of awkwardly, so as to avoid the water on the floor from the previous shower. If he could manage that, he could manage using a toilet at odd angles in the dark! Kind of a dark night of the soul, or at least, a dark night in the toilet! Upon finishing, there was no soap, but Benito was glad just to have had a toilet to use, and so they continued on their merry way, for to find the house in the mountains! What a grand time it was. When Benito got there with Ljubica and company, the mother greeted him at the gate and took him by the hand in such a gentle manner. That was all well and good, for he had had a long day of travel and was ready for bed. So that was that. And the next day was utorak and they went by themselves with the help of Namania to Trsic.

It was all very timely indeed as they came past the well with the water from the monastery. Holy water, indeed! And that was how the Serbian cookie crumbled. It was a kind of museum really with nice streams and bridges and all manner of little houses. It was rather like the hobbits from the tales of Tolkien. but no matter, they were there at least. And walk they did past this and that place, first going to the church, which was quite splendid indeed! Benito signed his name in the book in Cyrillics and Ljuby was quite impressed with this achievement. Then they all danced to Thriller. No, it just looked like a graveyard, that is all. Continuing along, they came to another bridge with a little gate and a woman which Ljuby knew was there in the gift shop to greet them. She was about to close, but they were welcome to go and take a look at the house. So go and sit under that old tree they did, stopping to eat an orange and some chocolate. Benito yawned for he was tired. Then he proposed to write some poetry under that old tree, as it rained lightly down, and the streams winded their way. One could hear the sound of the stream from a distance at that time. Then they came to bridge which was of Turkish origin. And that was well and good. They went for a little while further, then turned back, promising to return one day for shish-kabobs. That will be quite a time and so they did return on New Year's Day. but first, they stopped at the little restaurant for a little dinner and tried a hand at the "gusle", a Montenigrian instrument. That was all well and good. They sat by the fire and Benito had a Heineken, remembering his good times in Western Europe. haha. Well, there would be many more times to come. And so they celebrated the night away and then ate some more potatoes and that was that. Oh, and Ljubica knew everyone that they met, as it is such a small town! hahaha. Well, she knows a lot of people. Then they observed this corn grinder for a time, after being offered to drink Rakkia. Then they walked back home in the dark under the full mooon, Benito stopping for a time to look at the stars (maybe there was Danica... hahaha!) and the town around.

So ended Day 1 in Loznica, with many more adventures and exciting times to come! Please stay tuned for New Year's is just around the corner. Peace, Benito. PS Oh yeah, they went to the hospitol for to get some meds, and Benito didn't have his insurance on him, but he didn't need any, just a little cash. And the doctor was very good, from Pakistan, and they all rejoiced for Benito would get better again but he stayed in bed for all of Wednesday and then it was New Year's Eve

Then it was time to go hiking. So they all put on their hiking boots and went to Trsic, for to enjoy the atmosphere. This time there were loggers in the forest and they passed them by on the way. Benito himself had to go toilet and held on to Ljubica's hand at the same time, but enough for the trivial stuff. For Mili was playing her disk-jockey on the way up, and Benito would get a similar idea later on... But for now, he was content to make it to the top of the mountain and toast fate that never a happier day was ever wasted there! And they were served free drinks on top by a man named Budda. Yes, kind of like 'Buddha', but in any event, he was a laughing, congenial sort of fellow and Ljubica was like, "See what kind of people we have here in Serbia!" And Benito believed her. Thus ended their New Year's Trek. And the preshow took place at a Monastery, at which Jovan would go often, and Benito met this priest-to-be at Ljubica's house and shook his hand. Thus did he continue along on his journey.

AVATAR

Last nights: Belgrade.

 

The day finally came, Christmas Day and Benito woke up to find a new day (without pigeons! Imagine that.), but that was not the important thing for there were many presents to go around, especially those bestowed upon Benito.  He received a special present from his new adapted sisters, Jovana i Jovana, who got him a hat.  Then, a special package put together by Ivana in the form of special cookies.  These were eagerly bestowed and even more eagerly received, for not only that but also a mug with a decoration from Sakko-Bagna!  How special.  Then they feasted on special mother's cooking, so that they could dance the day away.  ahahaha.  And so they did, pulling the table and chairs away and putting on some Lady Gaga.  (Lady Gaga's new hit is an even bigger hit in Serbia!)  But even before that time of much celebration, Benito had gone to church, going through the park and seeing several police officers chatting up some Serbian girls sitting on a park bench.  He had gone past the University of Architecture in Belgrade and the University Library before coming to some student center and then the park.  there was a lady there in the middle of the park and Benito followed the stone steps to take a closer look.  She was older and reminded Benito rather of some Mrs. Eleanor Roosevelt and a couple of park-goers were observing Benito as he performed the ritual.  He paused to look at his phone, then continued along on more stone steps until he came upon an Italian fellow named Cesare.  They talked for a time in Italian before going into the church to pay his respects to Jesus Christ.  That was good.  He kissed the icons in the proper way and contemplated what this Christmas really meant, knowing full well that nobody else was celebrating Christmas at the same time as Benito.  Oh, well. Benito especially contemplated the crucifex of Christ in wood near the high altar, or at least that's what he took it for, with gold doors intact.  A woman sat next to Benito as he sat there, no speaking, just solemn confederacy in their religious experience.  That was also good.  Benito made the first move, going to check out the icons and place his money in the slot as he had seen done.  When he was done, he went to light some candles for his family, as well as his Aunt Martha, who was going into rehab shortly that year.  He left just as another girl with dark hair that he had seen come in was also leaving.  Benito followed her for a ways before coming to a Timeout retail store and ducked inside to find the jeans he wanted.  Right size in hand, Benito continued along, picking up some coffee along the way, buying a different kind just to try, which turned out to be some kind of espresso.  Oh, well.  the lady behind Benito kind of looked at him as though she was disappointed that he had not initiated any type of conversation, but those were the breaks.  Benito had places to see and people to meet.  He was going to catch Avatar, afterall.  Before stepping on the bus, he checked out some sofas, thinking of what a way to get a great Christmas present for Ivana (shhhh... no fair telling!), but they just wanted "Cash money", so Benito was like "ok, see you later!"  Then he boarded the bus.

 

Arriving at the mall at the appointed time, they (Sasha, Ivana and Ivana) were awaiting Benito's arrival and that was cool for he had not had anything to eat to speak of except for maybe coffee.  Ivana offered him a chocolate covered banana and Benito put it in his pocket.  He might just need it on this special mission known as the Avatar.  Benito paid the appointed amount and was then given his 3D glasses.  Then they went to take their seats.  Sasha was awaiting another friend, but arrived just in time before the show started, or rather, quite a bit on time.  But that was all one for the movie was about to start and they had taken their fair share of pictures.  On second thought, maybe this wasn't such a good idea, Benito thought, as the Avatar bounded towards the audience in all its blue glory.  But that was just how it was.  Then these kind of elephants were charging and tiger-like beasts were attacking and it was really loud, but Benito soon got into it, especially with the half-nude natives running around.  For the parts where the natives were talking, Ivana served as a very good translator, as the subtitles were all in Serbian.  The story progressed as the Avatar dude learned the ways of the Nav'i (clever play on the name of the Navijo Indian) and the language was probably similar, Benito figured.  He did know Japanese, but not Serbian :(  Oh, well.  That would do.  In any case, he had studied a bit, but nothing close to understanding all as yet.  He enjoyed it, however, especially during the heavy action sequences, although they were a bit intense and at one point Benito thought Sasha was shaking violently next to him, but then Benito realized that it was actually he that was doing the shaking.  Oh, dear.  Well, it was quite an emotional experience really, fantasizing a quite different end to the manifest destiny ideal of the American settlers and government at that time (sort of like the WWII/ Holocaust fantasy of 'Inglorious Basterds').  The Marine turned Avatar dude was rather like 'Crazy Horse' at the end, performing marvelous feats and jumping high places in order to come around right, bringing down the big Army ship with his dragon destroyer.  It was quite something really.

 

Then they went back and danced the night away!  Haha.  But Benito was a little under the weather, so he made it an early night, and the next day was Christmas!  Haha.  Like I said before, and there was much rejoicing.  Yeeeeeeeah!  They danced and danced to Lady Gaga and other Serbian singers.  And there were other of Anika's relatives were there as well to celebrate and wish Benito a merry Christmas.  They drank a bit of Rakkia and sat in silence for awhile, meditating on each bygone Christmas.  It was very much of a celebration.  Then they had Serbian coffee and there were many 'Ziverli's' to go around.  Then they all said 'goodbye', except for Anika's sister who stayed around to dance the morning away with Benito.  Benito showed her how to swing, downloading some videos off of his Iphone. She was very eager to learn!  And they smoked together as well.  When the others came back, they all danced and especially Benito with Anika's sister.  They did a kind of line dance together; the rest is kind of a blur, except that it was a really good time with much celebration!

 

 

The next day was a day also filled with much excitement and anticipation, for they were going out that night.  And Benito had wandered around a bit, going to the Organic Garden.  There was some sort of party going on there, but Benito paid it little hid, for he needed to use the WC.  That accomplished, he walked slowly past the different herbs on display and a child and its sister walked by, observing Benito through the fence, probably taking him for some tourist, which he was.  But no matter, for Benito had found his destination and now was eagerly anticipating the next one, which would come very shortly he wagered, and included something special he knew, for no sooner was Benito in the Bohemian quarter, then he ran across Aglaya, who introduced him to her parents and invited him to tea.  That was all well and good, but Benito had other plans for himself as he was reading ‘Dracula’, so he made for the nearest restaurant where the Christmas tree was located and sat himself down at the table designated for him, asking for ‘chai’.  This was quite a splendid affair and two other loners were seated in the corner, but Benito did not consider himself to be alone, for all of Serbia was his oyster.  Then he made for the fences.  But not before a woman of Serbian origin attempted to initiate conversation, but Benito had no idea what she was saying, but no matter, for the waiters could speak English, and that was what really mattered.  Bidding adieu to the staff, he went out into the night, stopping briefly to buy some shorts.  That was all well and good for the shopping staff was certainly very friendly indeed.  And then he went on his merry way to catch the crowded bus back to Sacko-Bagno. 

 

Once there, he picked his way around the neighborhood, coming back to the apartment in good order.  Such was his experience, tempted to buy the new issue of Playboy, figuring once again as a good way to learn the language, but refrained.  That was all well and good, for he figured he might pick up some Serbian babes that night on the town, or the barge that is.  And so they did go eventually to the ‘water club’ on the Danube, stopping first briefly to pick up some Kleenex.  That was all well and good, but then they lost track of Mira and the other Ivana, so they ran to catch up, Ivana in her high heels, and a little dog following alongside Benito.  Potential new pet?  They will never know for sure.  But then they caught up to the rest of the party and continued along the water to the appointed club, right near the Beograd Casino Grand.  It was called the Orpheus and there were fountains to greet them as they made their way across the bridge to the club on the other side.  Benito was frisked before going into the club, and he thought that that was kind of funny, but necessary as who knows?  But in any case, that is how the Serbian cookie crumbled.  Then they were in and ordering their drinks, Benito trying to remember the last word in the Serbian expression: “Mogu li da ti platim piche?” But no matter, for he promptly fell asleep, even though he was drinking some sort of water for humming birds.  And sipped on some other alcoholic beverage before falling out.  He watched this nymphet dancing at the table next door, and thought of buying her a drink but realized that she was probably only sixteen, allowed into these certain clubs.  No matter, for there was another nymph dancing nearby as well.  You see. They were all water nymphs here on the water club called ‘Orpheus’.  And so they all danced to Serbian traditional music, including some of Benito’s favorite songs.  And it was quite nice, even if Darko Lazic did not grace them with his presence.  No matter, Benito was having a good time, even if he couldn’t remember the line that Ivana had given him to use in da club.  Well, next time… Now, Benito was too tired to keep his head up, and considered crashing on one of the sofa in the back, but Ivana suggested he go back, so go back he did, but not before taking a good look at the casino.  But Anika was waiting him back at the apartment and it was pretty late and raining, so back he went.  What an occasion!  Anika was waiting him back there and he crashed.

 

The next day was Ivana’s birthday and Benito went with her through the rain to get a few things at the Maxi.  But before that time, they stopped and Benito got a Panacinke to eat which is filled with something like cream cheese.  There they bought some stuff, including a trash can, which was kind of like a Christmas present, in addition to the earrings that Benito had gotten for the girls at Kalamegdon.  Then they cleaned up a bit, before going on their merry way.  The first guest to show up was a fellow teacher of Ivana’s and a very cheery sort.  So they talked it up, all about their shared love for Novak Djokovic, and he showed Benito a little video of the tennis star doing karaoke.  What a riot!  Then some other guests arrived, including one from nearby Romania, well the border.  In any event, that was all well and good, for soon Benito was dancing the night away, and that was his present to Ivana.  They snacked as well, and Benito helped Anika in these preparations, taking his own sweet time.  Anika and Benito especially had quite a time together!  They danced after Benito asked her and did some hip-hop moves as well.  Quite something.  And when they played Benito’s song, #1, things really got going, but nobody else seemed to want to dance, despite Benito’s urgings,  they even wondered if Ivana was not paying Benito to dance!  Well, he would soon have to pay… for he had broken the sofa, or something.  But whatev’s.  Now was the time to partay.  He had a nice talk with one of the guests, but did not catch her name, although she had been wearing some nice lingerie stockings that caught Benito’s eye.  He took her seat when she left and almost fell out again, but then they played his song and he got his groove on and there was much rejoicing.  What a night it was again in Sacho-Bagno!  Yippee!

 

 

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